I did something impulsive and un-thought through today. And, already, I'm regretting it. I opened a door to my past and the part of our lives our family doesn't talk about. I decided that I'm adult enough to handle the consequences of my actions, no matter what they might be. And I hate myself for it. I'm not sure why I feel so justified in opening doors without fully thinking the consequences through.
I do, however, finally feel a feeling of closure. It's almost good to think that now I can say I understand and that while things didn't turn out the way I had hoped (dare I say, dreamed?) they would, they have finally happened and I'm adult enough to know when a door has closed. Or, in this case, gently been shut in my face.
So, I guess that's it. I'm amazingly feeling ok about it. Especially now that I thought my feelings through a little better.